I thought I would share this description of Borderline Personality disorder as ever so often 'abusive' partners are labelled 'monsters' or 'bad' rather than helped for what is actually happening. Here are some signs to look out for and seek help for through a psychologist.
Borderline Personality disorder(BPD)= Major sudden mood shifts Angry->----sad--->cheerful in one hour. BPD and Bipolar disorder get mixed up Bipolar is a mood disorder and is characterised by mania 4-7 days or longer expansive irritable or energised state, impulsion, disinhibited, sexual etc.
BPD is often confused with bipolar because there is a fluctuation in moods BUT in BPD this is in one day within even an hour of time. Treatments for these disorders are treated differently. BPD and bipolar can coexist but are extremely hard to treat and navigate as comorbid disorders if combined.
9 Co-existing Signs of BPD (You must be diagnosed with 5 to meet the criteria):
1-Chronic and persistant fear of abandonment (always preparing for abandonment causing it even....example relationships grinding partner into the ground through insisting and reactions) Causes major relationship problem and inevitable abandonment by partner and friends.
2-Unstable and very intense interpersonal relationships. 24 hour need for passionate connection. Arguments, intense passion, tears , roller coaster. Can be in romantic and workplace relationships...
3-Identity disturbances. "I don't know who I am". "Who am I?". Identity disturbances. Chronically changing appearances, name etc. A real lack of knowing who they are at their core. One day they can be 1 person the next they can be another personae in the extreme cases. Disrupted and chaotic personality.
4-Impulsivity, acting out without thinking. Substances, spending, sex, gambling etc. All within hours (unlike Bipolar which is over a week etc). Acting out to soothe without thinking of the outcome.
5-Dangerous chronic suicidal thoughts/ideation. In attempts to avoid abandonment they harm them self to punish or scare a person away from leaving them. Self harming. Cry for help often result in an accidental death. Always a response to the inner pain they feel as the can't manage the sensations.
6-Affective instability--mood all over the place. Within an hour or so shifting emotions. Unable to stop when a feeling hits, it takes over them and they express and act out on the feeling. A lot of difficulty emotionally regulating. Hyper-reactive.
7- Chronically feels emptiness. This leads to a need to "fill up" through others or inappropriate behaviours like shopping, drinking etc. Always trying to feel whole due to the empty feeling.
8- Inappropriate and intense anger blow ups, throwing, physically combative, screaming, yelling and very SUDDEN. Partners and friends walk on egg shells around this individual. Thin skinned (over-feelers) and hypersensitive to all things in their environment. Often they feel very regretful after they have these bursts of anger-they then descend into terror of potential abandonment. They then become angry at themselves and tend to self harm. A vicious cycle all in an hour. This leaves relationships feeling like they have no idea what to do. A sense of a constant rollercoaster.
9- Transient stress induced paranoid ideation/ dissociative symptoms: under stress BPD suffers have paranoid beliefs. They think others are against them. Seen at that time someone may think they have broken off from reality and are psychotic. A sense of everyone is out to get them in that moment. Dissociation happens and they start behaving like someone else such as like a child (posture of a 4 year old). This causes misdiagnosis of DID (Multiple personality disorder).
Diagnosis is 5 out of 9 of these and is NOT to label it is to propel treatment. There are many different styles of BPD and this requires a variety of support. Managing these reactions is possible and lifelong (Multiple times a week). Treatment of choice evidence-based is DBT dialectical behavioural therapy (individual & group therapy) with a holistic approach.
This model of therapy is a life long commitment (think AA)
If you think a friend or a family member is considering suicide, express your concern and seek help immediately. If you are feeling suicidal, call 1-800-273-TALK or visit https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/